GENE KELLY'S BIRTHDAY

It was the 100th anniversary of Gene Kelly's birth yesterday.    I know this because Turner Classic Movies devoted their whole day to his films.

While I think Kelly had genius, his films are often very disappointing.   His most celebrated (critically) is "An American in Paris," which I find a complete bore from  beginning to end.  And I can't figure out why, exactly, it just is.  And that endless "ballet" sequence.    Are you kidding me?   Ballet for people who hate ballet.   Sorry, Mr. Kelly, I love you but this sucks.

"The Pirate"?     I won't even begin to comment on that piece of tripe.

"Cover Girl" is an interesting piece.  With songs by Jerome Kern, a cast that includes Kelly, Rita (All Genuflect before the Goddess Rita) Hayworth, Phil Silvers, Eve Arden (is there a better screen comedienne?) Rita Hayworth, and did I mention Rita Hayworth, and many other fine character actors, some stunning choreography by Kelly, this should have been a much more successful film.   It is not beyond the joy of just looking at Rita Hayworth (oh my God, Rita) and appreciating her beauty plus talent.  Was there a  more stunning creature to grace the screen?   Ah.... no.  

But back to the film, did I mention how sizzling HOT Rita Hayworth is?   Oh, sorry.

"Cover Girl's" flaws can be simply elucidated:  it's script.   What's that smell?   Ugh!   It's that script!   How, in God's name, did Harry Cohn approve of this script which reads like something from a Junior High School play?    And this film did not skimp on production values: technicolor, costumes, a multitude of costumes, big production numbers, music, music, and more music, I don't get it.    It's like he said, "Make it look good and who cares about the script."

Indeed, who cares when you're looking at Rita, but Rita's not on the entire time, you know, unfortunately.   And she does have to deliver some insipid dialogue.   Good lord, none of it was believable.  None of what we were supposed to take seriously, anyway, like the Kelly/Hayworth love-conflict.   Pure nonsense.

So how did this happen?

I don't know.   I was hoping one of you had the answers.    But you don't, do you?  I'll bet you don't even know what I'm talking about, do you?   Come on!   Come on!!!    Admit it!

Bah.    I'm wasting my time on you troglodytes.    Go back to  the Kardashians,  or Dancing With The Stars, or, Jersey Shore, or whatever particular piece of crap you allow to flow into your homes through the television.  

Anyway, Gene Kelly's birthday.    Got to say something nice, here, no?

Okay.   "Singing In The Rain."

You smiled, didn't you.   All anyone has to do to make someone else smile is say, "Singing In The Rain."

Jean Hagen, in "Singing in the Rain."
Donald O'Conner, "Make 'em Laugh"
Kelly's monumentally entertaining, "Broadway Melody"
Cyd Charisse's legs.
All those great songs.
Wonderful script from Comden and Greene.
Cyd Charisse's legs.  (homina, homina)
Kelly's absurdly perfect "Singing in the Rain," number.

Come on!   Best screen musical evah!   (not based on a Broadway show).

Thanks, Mr. Kelly.   If you had done nothing else, you gave us, "Singing in the Rain," and for that, you should be canonized.