Can you imagine. . . a whole summer of GG's utterly Faaab-u-lous insights, thoughts, and reportage, emerging, like the newborn Hercules, from both Greenwich and the oneandonlymostfabplaceonEarth (in the summer. D'uh. Please. . . ) THE HAMPTONS??? Well, can you?
Only GG can provide such joy, such rapture.
"Oh, tell us, Greenwich Girl!" the millions cry out!
"Favor us with your wit, your stories, your recipes for the perfect Cosmo!"
We cry from the darkness. . . .
The U.S. and Israel hold the largest ever joint military exercise.
Chemtrails now on record poisoning our atmosphere.
TSA intentionally hiring psychopaths to grope you at airports.
And Greenwich Girl invites us to:
"Keep up with GG as she jet sets between Greenwich and the Hamptons this summer. . ."
Okay, okay, "jet sets" is not really a verb. "Jets" is a verb. Yeah, those Greenwich Middle Schools never could get that straight. Or, is she, as we have believed all along, a F****G moron? A blond bimbo with nothing on her brain? A symbol of everything that is wrong with America? The reason we hate the pampered and privileged? Well, yes, she is.
But Hey! What does it matter when you're a rich, spoiled, blond slut? Nothing. Grammar? D'uh. . . I mean, where's my nail polish?
But not her fault. Mom's favorite phrase: "How much?" Oh, how her ears perk up at the sound of those words.
But GG reminds us to be kind, to be forgiving, to be magnanimous. How? Well, she. . . she. . . um. . .Oh! I don't know, but check out her glossy newsletter! Oooooo!
And remember girls, if he's paying. . . keep those legs spread! He's got MONEY!
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